Can you create your nightmare? I did with one of mine. And I want to do it again!

I’ve been brought up with several influences in my life that affect me, my creations and my world view, but none quite so fun, frightening, endearing and ever-reaching as horror films.

One of those films is Killer Klowns from Outer Space Love this movie.  There is a scene in the film where one of the main characters has come into the police station and found everyone dead.  The cop that, well, wasn’t a nice guy, is now in the lap of a giant killer clown and is now basically a puppet, or ventriloquist doll.

I am one of the – apparently – many people who suffer from coulrophobia.  It’s real, not affected, not something to get a boy’s attention.  My husband insists it’s because my father let us watch IT when it came out, but I don’t know.  I was 7, but I was a smart, ‘totally-not-real-just-a-movie’ 7.

This fear…  It’s not just creepy clowns, or clowns where there shouldn’t be clowns.  It’s clowns in general.  I hate and fear them.  Even seeing a regular clown gives me goosebumps and my heart starts pounding.

And yet I managed to create something with a clown in it late 2011:

"Killer Klown and Mooney Puppet" by Rebecca Galardo

“Killer Klown and Mooney Puppet” by Rebecca Galardo – 9-17-2011

I can tell you drawing the original version of my picture and then doing this in watercolor was a real, honest struggle.  Drawing Mooney (played by the oh-so-double-secret-probation-freaking-awesome John Vernon) and painting him wasn’t difficult.  But the clown…  I struggled because I didn’t like looking at him.  It’s funny.  You can see in my heavier hand on the clown.  I was rushing.  The painting maybe took 30 minutes and it’s just a fun little thing in a sketchbook, but I was intentionally pushing myself with the work.

My goal now though is to draw something that terrifies me again.  With more detail.  If good writers write about what scares them, I think a good artist can draw what scares him/her.  What do you think?

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